I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
