I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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