he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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