Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
