im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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