so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
