are you still at the devil's house?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
