you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
