I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
