That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
