so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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