i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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