ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
