Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
