I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
