I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
