Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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