So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
