i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
