Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
