are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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