Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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