margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Welp...herpes.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
