Are we in a gay sports bar?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
