it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
