I understand why you refuse to be sober now
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
