I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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