whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Alive.
So much puke
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
