"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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