i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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