i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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