I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
