: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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