shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
