i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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