My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
