i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
