just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
