remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
