Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
