We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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