Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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