Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
