I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
