Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
either way he was missing a nipple.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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