The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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