Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
