Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
