hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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