Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
