He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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