Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
