Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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